But olive what if it tastes salty??
pussy isn’t gonna taste like strawberries and whipped cream. like, it’s a bodily fluid. your vagina is acidic when it’s in its prime pH. let’s get rid of this idea that we’re supposed to taste like we’re fruits instead of humans. like, yes, you can alter the taste with your diet. but please do not fret if your genitals don’t taste like chocolate pudding.
"Patience is the direct antithesis of anger."
My roommate and I are really sick and we look like shit, but we were hungry so we ordered pizza.
But we didn’t want anyone to see us, so we asked them over the phone if we can leave the money on the door and they can just drop off the pizza.
The guy said sure.
So we decided to leave a nice little note
and we hung it above the door bell. I hope they like it!
pizza spelt its own name wrong
"The greatest gift you can give someone is the space to be his or herself, without the threat of you leaving."
honestly i hate when people try to sugar coat shit like if you don’t like me or don’t wanna hang or don’t wanna talk to me just fucking tell me don’t keep ignoring me and expect me to figure out the hint like that’s such a bitch ass move i’d rather hear it from you than be ignored 99% of the fucking time.
"Some people smoke,
others drink, and others fall in love,
each one dies from a different way."
|Parent:||what does a cow say?
|Parent:||yes! And what does a sheep say?
|Parent:||yay! And what does a pig say?
|Baby:||*whistles* "damn babygirl u a fine piece'a ass wanna hop n my car n ill drive ya to pound town!!"
Writing in my brain: Beautiful flowing sentences full of powerful phrases and enigmatically witty dialogue.
Writing on the page: They did the thing and said some stuff. There was snark.
I just made the dadiest joke ever. Me and my family were thinking about going to the movies. I was like “I wanna see maze runner” and my sister was like “I wanna see maze runner too!”. So I said “I don’t think that one’s out yet. They only just released the first one”. Everyone groaned so hard… I’m so ashamed